so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
