Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
