i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
