Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
