Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize