hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
