did you get engaged???
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
