Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
