they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
