I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
