Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize