As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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