she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
