Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
