Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
