It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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