Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
