just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
