i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
