this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
