New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
