I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
