Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
