I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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