turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
