Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
