glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize