could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
