dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That accounts for only three of the penises
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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