I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
