Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
