We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
