You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
