your thong is hanging out like whoa
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
