That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
