remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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