I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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