don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
