Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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