i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
