I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
