im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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