He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
