I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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