Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
