haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
