Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
