This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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