taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
