remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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