covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm having to shit out rocks
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