He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
