No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
