Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
