If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
