One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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