I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Small penises have feelings too.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
