I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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