am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Im part way to drunk.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
