I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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