Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
